Saturday, August 25, 2012

My Children, My Life

Being a mom has never been easy. I knew that even before when I was still a kid. There are lots of stuffs to sacrifice and so other things as well that are bounded for me to experience. Yet, I still choose to pursue what I am having right now.

There are options to choose for. And it depends on us on what path to select on. Although, sometimes I envy other people who happens to be same age as mine and enjoying their freedom I still never regret of having my 2 kids with me.

One of the happiest moment I ever experienced in my life was the first time I hear the cry and laughter of my 2 angels. Probably, moms out there felt the same way too as mine.

Meanwhile, becoming at this point where I am right now has never become as easy as what you all think of. Having my son with me is my will. (Funny, huh?) At the early age of 17 I dreamed of having a child already and so it did happen. At first I was worried since his father is not okay with what I have planned out then I was almost tempted to abort my son. Yet, thanks to my 2 BFFs who were there for me to continue my pregnancy. Later on, I got pregnant again after my son turned 1. Though, I was trying to control still it happened.

There, I made the most crucial sin I've ever made in my entire life. The time I knew I was pregnant, my world seems so hopeless. I actually don't know what to do. What keeps on crossing in my mind is that, I want to go back to school and finish my studies. Until I decided to abort my baby. The worst is that, the father of my kids supported my decision which he should not do but instead disagree in the first place. After trying to abort my baby, fortunately, it was not successful as planned. We tried to abort the baby again, and then I finally decided to let the baby live as what s/he should be, whatever s/he may look like or s/he would be. He never agreed on me, but nothing else he can do... It's still my body and I am only the one who has right on it. Until he accepted what I have decided on. We went to a hospital for an ultrasound test, luckily the baby's vital signs are normal and according to the doctor my baby is healthy.

After 5 months, I got my second ultrasound test. I found out that I was having placenta previa. The doctor advised me to rest and not be stressed. She also requested me to have a repeat ultrasound test for update. Right after that visit, the father of my children and I had misunderstanding which result to separation.

I was expecting for it though. He'd been acting so irresponsible the time I told him that I am going to continue my pregnancy. A month before I am going to give birth, I went to Cathedral Church here in our place and I ask for God's forgiveness towards what I have done for my child. At the same time, I asked Him and Mama Mary that my baby will not be affected with what we've done to her. If ever I could just give my life in return, I will do.

The time I was scheduled for a Caesarean section to give birth, I don't know what to do because honestly I'm ashamed of what I have done to her. But despite of what had happened, I'm so thankful to God and Mama Mary that they heard my prayers. And I always thank God for his goodness not just to me and to my daughter but as well to those who believe in HIM too.

And now, I have a beautiful and wonderful DAUGHTER.

To all teenagers or perhaps, not prepared to have a child yet... don't engage yourself in premarital sex. If it happens you get pregnant by surprised, then let it be. Killing won't make you success neither free you from chagrin. Regretting will not either save you from your sin. Trust me, I did it too. You just don't know what's its consequences. 

8 comments:

  1. ohh...so touching. It's great that no matter how hard it is for you, you still chose to have your precious daughter. this might serve as an inspiration to all young pregnant wpmen out there LIFE is precious only God has the right to take it away from us. You are a brave young Lady and I am proud of you.

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  2. sis @dhadha: :)

    @mommy jes: thank you ate! :)

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  3. Wow! What a story. Though I don't know your boyfriend, I am thinking that you are indeed better off without him. Who could live with a guy like that for the rest of your life when he agreed to have his child aborted in the first place. Good job sis! May God provide for all you need.

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  4. Oh. :( that's a sad story of yours but I am so happy that you just did the right decision. Truly, a child is a gift from God. This will serve an inspiration not just to those teenagers but as well to single moms out there too! good job sis.

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  5. My emotions are mixed after reading this. I know you learned your lesson well. Abortion is a crime and thank God, your daughter survived. Maybe, this is God's way of telling you that you really deserve to have your little angel. So take good care of her always.

    I know you are a great mother with a good and loving heart. God bless you!

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  6. Children is our life. When we became moms, we spend most of our time in taking care of them and protecting them.

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  7. @sigrid @ lovingly mama: Thank you so much po! :)

    @mommy pehpot: :D indeed mommy. and I promise to all of you I will take good care of her. :)

    @kaye figuracion: thank you so much mommy! :)

    @super Mommy Jem: true mommy! :)

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